Painting
the Chief.
Well,
it's December 26th, 1998 and for the second year in a row, no Jason or Joshua.
I realize I'm not part of their lives at all. Judy says, "It's a phase and
they'll get by it as they get older", but now I wonder if I'll ever know
them, and them, will they ever know me?
I
always go back at times like these and ask myself "Could I have
stayed?" and the answer is always no. So, I live with the results, hoping
for what may be someday, a call, a letter, and a glance would be my Christmas
wish for me. I'd wish the same for others in the same place, by the way.
Been
working on the painting I'm now referring to as "the Chief" for about
two weeks. Started out as another request from Judy for her Indian Woman, turns
out "the Chief".
Judy
found a picture in a magazine and said, "Like that" and when I asked
her what she liked about the picture she said "the stance". I asked
her "did you know this was a picture of Natalie Demontiney, of Stone Child
College, GPA 3.5 with a major in Chemical Dependency Counselling who is
dependent upon scholarships?" She said,"Forget about that".
Forget
about that? I don't know how to do that.
Finished
"the Chief" on the twenty-seventh and moved it upstairs, with the
others. Judy said, "Hey, what did you do with Cherokee Nations?” referring
to "the Chief".
