To my boys, some things I never told them

I never told you how much I missed seeing you every day.

I never told you how much I wanted to be part of your every day life.

I never told you how much I sometimes think saving my self cost me more than

I could ever imagine.

I never told you how much happiness anything either of you accomplished gives to me.

I never told you how much happiness I have inside myself for staying within reach of you.

I never told you, Jason, how much I love and enjoy ~ the memory of the night we had our own fire on the beach and watched the stars together.

I never told you, Joshua, how the smile you always have for me on your face, I know is in your

heart.

I never told you boys that sometimes I think maybe I should have stayed, and I'm still praying I've done the right thing for you.