To be single

Up in the morning, there are no sounds

except for the breathing

of my self.

Looking in a mirror

the face stares back,

wondering, in silence.

Occupied by day with the thoughts of cold nights,

running, running

to where the noises are,

specials of the house of the house I'm in

fill just the silence.

I started off not knowing any direction

except mine.

Self-protection

was still being close,

when it occurred to me that I couldn't.

In the arms of the noise, and warmth

are those tranquil moments

I had defined as love.

It now seems

love must be more

than a harbour from life.

Stillness at dawn, at somebody else’s,

the breathing, magnified,

but not much else.

Harbours don't seem to work.

at least not for me, anymore.

Sitting with my soul thinking.

My goals have been erased,

realizing this freedom

creates a heavy price;

to survive it

you have to rebuild your self from scratch.

=

Dealing with your self

you maintain your world

in a string of repetitious patterns.

Loneliness,

running in hurt

at a life you don't understand.

Feeling,

you come to realize

that the crying of the soul

can't be stopped in repetitions.